"You have an interesting way with words" a teacher once told me. She'd always just chuckle or look puzzled after I'd put my crazy spin on topics during class discussion. I
never really understood what she meant by that statement. That is, until I met my coteacher, Lanny. This woman never ceases to amaze me. Every day seems like a conversational adventure :)
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L: Cony, if you look at pictures of good looking babies, you will have good looking babies one day, too.
Me: Why are you telling me this? And are you saying I won't have good looking babies?
L: Oh no! I am sure you will. But maybe Nicky will not. I will bring in pictures of my children for her to look at. Her baby will grow beautiful then.
Me: Looking at pictures of cute kids WILL NOT determine how good looking your children are.
L: Yes, it will. I have proof. Look at my children.
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Dinner conversation that took place while meeting her husband for the first time...
L: Cony, remember I told you I am my husband's first lover?
Me: ummm...yup, I remember (awkward because her husband is sitting beside me).
L: But, Cony, he is not my first lover.
Me: Really? ummm...interesting.... (totally awkward now).
L: Hahaha (insert explosion of laughter here).
L 's husband: She always love telling this story always.
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Me: I'd like some guitar lessons. Could you ask the guitar teacher if he'd mind giving me some lessons?
L: Sure. I will ask him.
Two days later...
Me: Any word on guitar lessons?
L: I asked guitar teacher and he will give you lessons, but after school hours. I told him no.
Me: Why would you tell him no? I can do lessons after school.
L: Cony, you should only have lessons during our day of school hours. You cannot be with a man after school. It will be just man and woman and this cannot be good news.
Me: Why?
L: Because he is a man and might try things.
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Me: I brought in some veggies and hummus. Ya want some?
L: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, really?! (this is the super surprised reaction to everything).
She picks up the raw zucchini and inspects it.
L: Cony, this vegetable is for cooking only. You cannot eat it raw.
Me: What? You can eat it raw. You can eat any veggie raw...I think...? (great, now she has me questioning myself).
L: I do not think so.
Me: Just try it.
She takes a bite and her eyes light up.
L: Cony, it is really good! But, I still think it is only for cooking.
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L: My son likes you, Cony.
Me: Cute!
L: I do not know. He used to say that you are not pretty as his girlfriend. But, these days, he says you are more beautiful than her.
Me: Awwwww, really? Cuuuuuuuuuuute!
L: Cony, you are not more beautiful than her. People look at her and say she can be a movie star.
Me: Isn't she only five? And just what are you saying? (eyebrows raised)
L: You are pretty, but not beautiful like movie star. hahaha. I don't understand why he changed his mind? I am so surprised. She is soooooooo beautiful.
Me: (pouting face) Yeah, well...I think YOU'RE NOT BEAUTIFUL!
L: hahaha Cony, are you mad?! hahaha
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One day after playing volleyball...
L: Cony, you are a good sports player.
Me: Thanks, Lanny!
L: Maybe you should keep doing this and quit guitar.
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L: I have been thinking about what you said. Remember when you told me you are learning to pole dance?
Me: Yup.
L: Well, I cannot believe this because I only think of those girls that do it. You know....those girls?
Me: Strippers.
L: Yes, strippers.
Me: I told you it's a type of sport now. Not just strippers pole dance.
L: I tried it at the park.
Me: What??
L: I took my sons to the park and saw a pole so I used it.
Me: How did you know what to do?
L: I remembered that you showed me this video (the vid was of Zoraya Judd, a professional poler).
Me: You tried to pole like Zoraya Judd?
L: Yes. People just stared at me and I did not a good job. So never mind.
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Showing L some family pictures and we came across one of my tattoo...
L: Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cony!!! You have a tattoo?
Me: I have a tattoo.
L: You are a stripper!
Me: I'm not a stripper!
L: Well, you look like one in the picture.
